A Real Energetic Spell

This morning I had a real energetic spell :  one thing I thought it was Saturday.  With Willie's help, I cleaned up the parlor and Annie's room, had a regular washing for the babies.  But then we are so unsettled - we may move to Bessemer.  Can't say yet what we will do.  - Frances, January 1892

It can feel great to get things done.  Having a day to clean, run errands, work on projects - that sounds perfect to a list-maker like myself.  This past week, I was a flurry of activity, juggling 4 different To-Do lists and still managing to finish my 'real' work.  It was exhilarating - and exhausting.

Sometimes I wonder if we use our chores and tasks as an escape - as a way of avoiding the big things we don't want to deal with.  We may not be able to resolve a looming crisis or major decision today, but we sure can complete a task!

Frances was proud of her 'energy' that morning, and rightly so!  Maintaining a household and caring for babies is no small feat, so I'm sure it felt great to get things done.  But then she mentions the possibility of moving to Bessemer.  Uprooting her family and moving to a new city.  Starting over.  A decision like that can certainly cause anxiety, especially when you haven't made up your mind yet.  A list of manageable, completable chores starts to sound pretty appealing.  Clean house - check!  Bathe children - check!  Evaluate new living situation and determine possibility of financial stability - um...pass?

While it can be comforting to focus on the To-Do lists, we also need to make space for the 'big things' in the background.  The answers will come, but only if we give them a little room.  Take a step back.  Find a few quiet moments.  Remember to breathe.  

I have two very big events coming up, both of which are incredibly exciting and a little bit scary.  My checklists are winding down.  Now, the most important task for me is to slow down, stay present, and remember every moment of this experience.  To paraphrase Ferris Bueller, if we don't stop and look around, we could miss it.  And I don't want to miss a single moment.