But It's Time

Thanksgiving was so fun. And our last in Montgomery. It’s sad to see the house go. But it’s time. - Miranda, November 2005

Much like Frances, I have very strong associations with places. Every year, as I begin the Thanksgiving preparations, I reminisce about Thanksgivings Past.

I remember our last Thanksgiving at my Aunt’s house in Montgomery. My cousin Claire was just a baby. My Grandparents were still young(ish). We had our classic family dishes. Nothing stands out as spectacular or unusual, but that’s what made it so lovely. The tradition continued, and that alone is perfect.

Houses come and go. They feel like home for a while, and then it is time to move on. But it is never the house that makes it feel like home. It is the people. The stories. The celebrations. The customs. This year, whether you are honoring the past or starting new traditions, I hope you have a wonderful holiday in whatever place feels like home for you.

Just like my diary entry, this blog post is short and to the point. I have to get back to my giant checklist. Now, where did I put that cranberry sauce….

This Is My City

I’m here in Atlanta! My car has a bunch of stuff in it, and after a few days I’ll be able to start unpacking. Soon I’ll have my first independent gig. Yay! and a paycheck. Big Yay! I applied for a receptionist position at a spa near my apartment (I think). That would be really nice. Any job would be nice. I’m really excited to live in Atlanta. As I was driving in, I drove right through downtown and thought “This is my city.” I think I will have some great experiences here. And I’m sure I will grow as a musician and a person. I can’t wait! - Miranda, June 2005

Sometimes when I write, I like to have the TV on in the background. It makes the writing feel less…intimidating. Today, as I typed up my past journal entries, Sex and the City came on, a show I watched religiously in my 20s. I came across this entry just as the Fleet Week episode began to play.

For those of you behind on your reruns, the Fleet Week episode finds all of the women in a state of transition. Miranda is a new mom, Charlotte is a new divorcée, Samantha is newly single, and Carrie is pondering the Great Loves of her past. As she reflects on her relationships, she realizes that the Great Love she cherishes the most is her city - New York City. Such a funny parallel.

I wrote this entry on my first trip to Atlanta, with all my belongings packed in the car, ready to start my new adventure. I had a single gig, a potential day job, a new checking account (for when the money started rolling in!), and a whole lot of hope.

I have always loved Atlanta. I know it isn’t for everyone, but there is something about this place that makes me comfortable. There have been ups and downs, to be sure. When I started out, I was eager to win a job and move on. But over time (13 years!), the city became part of me. I have built a career here. I bought a condo here. I met my husband and got married here, and we live just down the street from my very first apartment, right in the middle of the city. Who knows what the future holds, but for now, this is still My City.

A Real Energetic Spell

This morning I had a real energetic spell :  one thing I thought it was Saturday.  With Willie's help, I cleaned up the parlor and Annie's room, had a regular washing for the babies.  But then we are so unsettled - we may move to Bessemer.  Can't say yet what we will do.  - Frances, January 1892

It can feel great to get things done.  Having a day to clean, run errands, work on projects - that sounds perfect to a list-maker like myself.  This past week, I was a flurry of activity, juggling 4 different To-Do lists and still managing to finish my 'real' work.  It was exhilarating - and exhausting.

Sometimes I wonder if we use our chores and tasks as an escape - as a way of avoiding the big things we don't want to deal with.  We may not be able to resolve a looming crisis or major decision today, but we sure can complete a task!

Frances was proud of her 'energy' that morning, and rightly so!  Maintaining a household and caring for babies is no small feat, so I'm sure it felt great to get things done.  But then she mentions the possibility of moving to Bessemer.  Uprooting her family and moving to a new city.  Starting over.  A decision like that can certainly cause anxiety, especially when you haven't made up your mind yet.  A list of manageable, completable chores starts to sound pretty appealing.  Clean house - check!  Bathe children - check!  Evaluate new living situation and determine possibility of financial stability - um...pass?

While it can be comforting to focus on the To-Do lists, we also need to make space for the 'big things' in the background.  The answers will come, but only if we give them a little room.  Take a step back.  Find a few quiet moments.  Remember to breathe.  

I have two very big events coming up, both of which are incredibly exciting and a little bit scary.  My checklists are winding down.  Now, the most important task for me is to slow down, stay present, and remember every moment of this experience.  To paraphrase Ferris Bueller, if we don't stop and look around, we could miss it.  And I don't want to miss a single moment.