I Thank God For Them

Married? Yes - one of the best of husbands - a nice home, and two dear children. I thank God for them when I look at them. But I don’t want any more until these are old enough to take care of them. - Frances, February 1892

As I’ve been adjusting to my own major life change, I’ve been thinking about not only Annette’s story, but Frances’ as well. For starters, I have been brainstorming baby names by digging through decades of family names. For those of you who know Frances’ full name, there may be a clue there. =)

Also, as Valentines Day came and went, I took a moment to celebrate Frances’ birthday! You may remember that we aren’t really sure when Frances was born. At some point, she changed her birthday to February 14 - Valentine’s Day - so everyone would remember the date!

In this entry, Frances reflects on the passing of another birthday. She was a young 22-year-old, married with two children. She would go on to have 3 more children, losing one daughter at just 6 months of age, but at this moment in time, she admits that she doesn’t want to have any more children for a while. Even with her household help, she wasn’t sure she was ready for more children. This entry reminded me of Annette’s second pregnancy. She wasn’t sure she was ready.

I must admit that I feel that way at times. I am much older than both Frances and Annette, but I still have moments when I don’t feel ready at all! I am fortunate to have so many resources available - resources that were non-existent for my ancestors. I hope I can stay present and take things one day at a time. When everything in your world changes, sometimes that is the best way forward!

All Through Life

It is Sunday + we keep reminding our boy he is one year old.  May God watch over our darling boy all through life.  And each successive birth-day find him as pure + sinless as he now is.  And may God help us to live right + train our little darling up to be a noble christian man.  - Frances, April 1891

Birthdays are a cause for celebration, but particularly so in the 1890s.  Frances had 6 children - one little girl died as a baby, and from what I can gather, she had a stillborn or miscarriage as well.  Birthdays were a celebration of life - and survival.  People didn't talk much about the losses.

Even today, miscarriages are considered a taboo topic.  I have had friends and family members go through this terrible loss, and each one of them has said how lonely it felt.  They felt they couldn't talk about their experience.  

Who do we turn to in the horrible times?  What about the joyous times?  Frances's faith in God was central to her identity.  On her son's birthday, she offered up prayers to God to help her protect, teach, and care for her young child.     

What helps us through the celebrations and and the sorrows?  How do we connect?  Or share?  Or ask for help and guidance?  Some people choose religion.  Others a network of family and friends.  Some have faith in something else altogether.  I don't believe that there is a right answer.  I do believe that sometimes the hardest thing in the world is feeling alone.  What if we all took a moment to share in someone's joy?  Share in their tears?  Share in their anger?  Share in their fear?  Share in their hope?