I Thank God For Them

Married? Yes - one of the best of husbands - a nice home, and two dear children. I thank God for them when I look at them. But I don’t want any more until these are old enough to take care of them. - Frances, February 1892

As I’ve been adjusting to my own major life change, I’ve been thinking about not only Annette’s story, but Frances’ as well. For starters, I have been brainstorming baby names by digging through decades of family names. For those of you who know Frances’ full name, there may be a clue there. =)

Also, as Valentines Day came and went, I took a moment to celebrate Frances’ birthday! You may remember that we aren’t really sure when Frances was born. At some point, she changed her birthday to February 14 - Valentine’s Day - so everyone would remember the date!

In this entry, Frances reflects on the passing of another birthday. She was a young 22-year-old, married with two children. She would go on to have 3 more children, losing one daughter at just 6 months of age, but at this moment in time, she admits that she doesn’t want to have any more children for a while. Even with her household help, she wasn’t sure she was ready for more children. This entry reminded me of Annette’s second pregnancy. She wasn’t sure she was ready.

I must admit that I feel that way at times. I am much older than both Frances and Annette, but I still have moments when I don’t feel ready at all! I am fortunate to have so many resources available - resources that were non-existent for my ancestors. I hope I can stay present and take things one day at a time. When everything in your world changes, sometimes that is the best way forward!

We Have Been Married 40 Years

I am going to some of the wedding parties - and to-day I dressed up - put on a pretty dress and hat and walked out and said to Mr. Grimes "We have been married 40 years to-day."  - Frances, June 1929

It's been a while since I have written.  To be honest, I've been a little stuck.  Between honeymoon planning and the start of the new school year, I have always managed to find something else to do instead of write.  

Then, just last week, my aunt sent a letter that she found while unpacking in her new house.  It reads like a diary entry, even though it is on stationary from the Alabama Woman's Christian Temperance Union.  It was a letter from Frances, writing to her husband on their 40th anniversary!  The letter, written around the time of their youngest son's wedding, has all the hallmarks of Frances' diary from her twenties but written at the ripe old age of 46.  She focused on describing her children and grandchildren, and just like so many of her diary entries, closed by sharing her gratitude for the love of her children and family.    

Finding this letter was such a treasure.  But even better was the conversation it sparked.  My aunt emailed a copy to my mother, their cousins, and the second cousins.  Everyone chimed in with thoughts, questions, notes, and their own reflections.  Frances' letter brought us all (virtually) together.  In Frances' words, "they have been a continual source of pleasure to me always."  I consider myself lucky to be in the company of the wonderful women in this family, and it is an honor to explore our shared ancestors.  I am grateful to them for their support (and for reading this blog!). 

Linsifu Got Married

Linsifu got married this afternoon and it was funny - like all Chinese weddings.  Lin had a beautiful new foreign hat he held on to all thru the ceremony.  Lo-yin had a lovely dress - too bad we just didn't have any pretty flowers.  Went to their feast after services - good food.  Japs + China fighting in Burma - Singapore still holding out.  - Annette, January 1942

I'm heading to a wedding this weekend, so I started thinking about what weddings would have been like for Frances and Annette.  Here, Annette writes about the wedding of one of the community's 'servants.'  The missionary group had cooks, housekeepers, drivers, and other workers periodically throughout their stay in China.  Annette wrote often about Linsifu (Lin was his name; 'sifu' was Annette's spelling of shi fu - 师傅 - meaning 'qualified worker').  Annette was teaching him English, and in turn, he kept her informed of all the gossip around the community.  He was a good student, and Annette seemed to enjoy their classes.

Think back to the weddings you have attended - what do you remember most?  The venue?  The dress?  The party?  For Annette, it was the clothes and the food - no surprise there!  She also participated in the festivities by creating the flower arrangements.  From this entry, it sounds like the crysanthemums didn't bloom as she had hoped. 

We get a wartime update as well.  They didn't have the luxury/curse of a 24-hour news cycle, so their updates came sporadically.  I can only guess that the updates were a big deal, since Annette always mentions when they receive news.  The war could be both all-consuming and background noise.  You never forget that it is happening, and still, daily life marches on. 

A wedding can be a joyful respite from a difficult world.  I tend to get bogged down by all the hurt and suffering in the world.  This weekend, I will step away from the news to celebrate LOVE.  I'm sure it will be a beautiful, memorable night.  

Wonder What I Did

The guys all had a meeting this afternoon so I fixed supper.  Made a tamale pie + I liked it fine, but of course I didn't make enough for them.  Made ice cream too + then discovered we had no more snow to freeze it with.  Clary + Paul both felt bad tonight - they said from my cooking.  Gosh, wonder what I did.  Doc was in bed today with malaria.  - Annette, January 1942

In 1942, Annie was living in Enshih, China.  Clary, my grandfather, managed the business of running the church, while Annie and the other missionary wives tended to the orphanage (mostly girls), taught English, played music for church services, and whatever else needed doing.  Not only is she in completely foreign territory, but she is also a relatively new wife.  She wants to please her husband by making meals he likes, but she also has limited ingredients and minimal equipment.  Whether 'the guys' were teasing her or not, she still took the criticism seriously.  Ice cream was always a real treat for them.  Then, a casual reference to their friend with malaria.  Most everyone they knew suffered from the disease at some point.  

With war all around her, sometimes the entries were simple.  Desire for good food, a little treat, wishes for good health.  All things we think about daily.