We Have Been Married 40 Years

I am going to some of the wedding parties - and to-day I dressed up - put on a pretty dress and hat and walked out and said to Mr. Grimes "We have been married 40 years to-day."  - Frances, June 1929

It's been a while since I have written.  To be honest, I've been a little stuck.  Between honeymoon planning and the start of the new school year, I have always managed to find something else to do instead of write.  

Then, just last week, my aunt sent a letter that she found while unpacking in her new house.  It reads like a diary entry, even though it is on stationary from the Alabama Woman's Christian Temperance Union.  It was a letter from Frances, writing to her husband on their 40th anniversary!  The letter, written around the time of their youngest son's wedding, has all the hallmarks of Frances' diary from her twenties but written at the ripe old age of 46.  She focused on describing her children and grandchildren, and just like so many of her diary entries, closed by sharing her gratitude for the love of her children and family.    

Finding this letter was such a treasure.  But even better was the conversation it sparked.  My aunt emailed a copy to my mother, their cousins, and the second cousins.  Everyone chimed in with thoughts, questions, notes, and their own reflections.  Frances' letter brought us all (virtually) together.  In Frances' words, "they have been a continual source of pleasure to me always."  I consider myself lucky to be in the company of the wonderful women in this family, and it is an honor to explore our shared ancestors.  I am grateful to them for their support (and for reading this blog!). 

Linsifu Got Married

Linsifu got married this afternoon and it was funny - like all Chinese weddings.  Lin had a beautiful new foreign hat he held on to all thru the ceremony.  Lo-yin had a lovely dress - too bad we just didn't have any pretty flowers.  Went to their feast after services - good food.  Japs + China fighting in Burma - Singapore still holding out.  - Annette, January 1942

I'm heading to a wedding this weekend, so I started thinking about what weddings would have been like for Frances and Annette.  Here, Annette writes about the wedding of one of the community's 'servants.'  The missionary group had cooks, housekeepers, drivers, and other workers periodically throughout their stay in China.  Annette wrote often about Linsifu (Lin was his name; 'sifu' was Annette's spelling of shi fu - 师傅 - meaning 'qualified worker').  Annette was teaching him English, and in turn, he kept her informed of all the gossip around the community.  He was a good student, and Annette seemed to enjoy their classes.

Think back to the weddings you have attended - what do you remember most?  The venue?  The dress?  The party?  For Annette, it was the clothes and the food - no surprise there!  She also participated in the festivities by creating the flower arrangements.  From this entry, it sounds like the crysanthemums didn't bloom as she had hoped. 

We get a wartime update as well.  They didn't have the luxury/curse of a 24-hour news cycle, so their updates came sporadically.  I can only guess that the updates were a big deal, since Annette always mentions when they receive news.  The war could be both all-consuming and background noise.  You never forget that it is happening, and still, daily life marches on. 

A wedding can be a joyful respite from a difficult world.  I tend to get bogged down by all the hurt and suffering in the world.  This weekend, I will step away from the news to celebrate LOVE.  I'm sure it will be a beautiful, memorable night.  

Time To Have Fun With It

Rehearsal went well.  Played on my backup reed, but it still sounded ok.  Need to work on a few spots tomorrow during warmup, and that'll be fine.  It's so so exciting.  I can't wait to play tomorrow.  In my pretty dress & my pretty shoes.  I am ready for this.  I have worked so hard and it's time to have fun with it.  My solo.  Yay!  - Miranda, October 2007

I remember that feeling.  After just a few years of living in Atlanta, I was asked to play the Mozart Concerto for Clarinet with a regional orchestra.  It was a little orchestra (and doesn't exist anymore), but I didn't care.  I had worked on that piece for years and had never played it with an orchestra before.  A big milestone.  And I still have the dress I wore.  I love that dress.  I felt confident and professional - not always the case, unfortunately.  At 26 years old, I was supporting myself as a professional classical musician in Atlanta.  How could I be anything but excited??