We Have Been Married 40 Years

I am going to some of the wedding parties - and to-day I dressed up - put on a pretty dress and hat and walked out and said to Mr. Grimes "We have been married 40 years to-day."  - Frances, June 1929

It's been a while since I have written.  To be honest, I've been a little stuck.  Between honeymoon planning and the start of the new school year, I have always managed to find something else to do instead of write.  

Then, just last week, my aunt sent a letter that she found while unpacking in her new house.  It reads like a diary entry, even though it is on stationary from the Alabama Woman's Christian Temperance Union.  It was a letter from Frances, writing to her husband on their 40th anniversary!  The letter, written around the time of their youngest son's wedding, has all the hallmarks of Frances' diary from her twenties but written at the ripe old age of 46.  She focused on describing her children and grandchildren, and just like so many of her diary entries, closed by sharing her gratitude for the love of her children and family.    

Finding this letter was such a treasure.  But even better was the conversation it sparked.  My aunt emailed a copy to my mother, their cousins, and the second cousins.  Everyone chimed in with thoughts, questions, notes, and their own reflections.  Frances' letter brought us all (virtually) together.  In Frances' words, "they have been a continual source of pleasure to me always."  I consider myself lucky to be in the company of the wonderful women in this family, and it is an honor to explore our shared ancestors.  I am grateful to them for their support (and for reading this blog!). 

Messed Up The Icing - Or, Wedding Cakes For Everyone!

Still no sunshine.  Had our wedding anniversary dinner tonite.  I made a nice devil food cake but I messed up the icing.  Had a nice supper - Doc + wife came over and we played monopoly.  Even Miss Simon played with us tonite.  - Annette, March 1943

I have had weddings on the brain lately!  My favorite part of weddings is always the cake.  Well, the whole 'love and commitment' thing is pretty great, too, so I guess cake is a very close second.  My own wedding was just a few weeks ago, so the cake was crucial.  None of that inedible fondant, thankyouverymuch.  Luckily, I found an amazing baker in Atlanta - Amanda Faber, the Season 2 winner of the Great American Baking Show on ABC.  Amanda made a beautiful cake and it was DELICIOUS!  It was my favorite wedding cake - and wedding - by far.  :)

Annette and Clary were married on Leap Day, February 29, 1940, so they celebrated their first 4 anniversaries in China.  Annette made a cake for every single one.  In 1943, on their third anniversary, she baked a devil's food cake.  I love that she wrote about her 'messed up' icing.  In our social-media world, it is so tempting to only share the perfect parts of our lives - the perfect Insta shot or Facebook post.  Annette's diary was her safe place, her honest place.  She wrote about her real experiences and feelings.  I can completely relate to a less-than-perfect baking experience because....

This past week, I caught Royal Wedding Fever!  I just could not get enough of the details, the story, and of course, the cake!  As soon as I heard the cake description, I knew I had to give it a shot.  Lemon elderflower sponge cake with Swiss meringue buttercream.  I've never made either of those, so I jumped right in!  I did a bit of research to narrow down the cake and icing recipes.  To honor Harry and Meghan blending English and American families, I used a sponge cake recipe inspired by Mary Berry, queen of English baking, and a buttercream recipe inspired by Martha Stewart, an American baking master.  Spoiler alert:  not my best bake.  By far.  Check out the pictures for all the ways I went wrong!  

Regardless of the missteps, the cake was delicious.  I woke up early to watch the Royal Wedding celebration, and had delicious lemon elderflower cake for breakfast.  As Rev. Michael Curry said during the ceremony, "There's power in love."  That is always worth a celebration.

Since I didn’t have access to elderflower syurp made with Queen Elizabeth’s elderflower bushes, I used Belvoir Fruit Farms elderflower cordial. Much easier to get - at World Market.

I weighed out all the ingredients for the sponge. I had great intentions. Instead of buying caster sugar, I blitzed regular sugar in the food processor so it was extra-fine.

Here I am, adding the ingredients separately. This was not the best plan. Mary Berry said to combine all ingredients, then mix, which I did not do. I decided to cream the butter and sugar first, then add eggs one at a time. Except two eggs plopped into the bowl at once, thus breaking the emulsion I had just made.

Here, I added the flour mixture slowly. And then proceeded to overmix the batter. Not great.

The cakes are out of the oven, and they both sank in the middle. I did not spin or tap the pans, so they were tough little cakes with some sizable air bubbles. Mary Berry would not approve. Oh well! Good thing I planned to drench them in syrup and cover in icing!

Speaking of icing, hand-whisking is no joke. Especially over heat. My tiny kitchen was quite warm.

The stand mixer whisking was MUCH more fun. The egg white/sugar mixture was glossy and smooth and beautiful!

Add the butter a little bit at a time, then the flavorings. You could swap out the lemon juice and elderflower cordial for any other flavoring you like - vanilla, almond, etc.

The finished product! I used a ton of icing to fill in the sunken middles of the cakes, but overall, it turned out ok! A few swirls and some silver sanding sugar added a bit of Markle-sparkle.

You can see the extra-thick icing in the middle, and the extra-tough sponge cake texture. But hey, it’s still cake! And after all that work, I earned my ‘messed up’ slice!

Lemon Elderflower cake with Elderflower Buttercream

Lemon Sponge Cake:

4 eggs, room temperature - weighed

Caster sugar

Butter, softened

Self-rising flour

1 T baking powder

Zest of 1 lemon

Elderflower Soak:

1/4 c elderflower cordial (I used Belvoir Fruit Farms Elderflower Cordial)

1 T fresh lemon juice

Elderflower Buttercream:

5 large egg whites

1 cup plus 2 T caster sugar

1/8 t table salt

1 pound butter, softened

2 t fresh lemon juice

1 T elderflower cordial

Preheat oven to 356 degrees F (or 350 - Mary's recipe required 180 degrees Celsius).  Grease two 8in pans with butter, line the bottom of each pan with a circle of parchment paper. 

Weigh the eggs, and place in a large mixing bowl.  Weigh the same amount of sugar, butter, and flour in separate bowls.  Add the baking powder to the flour and sift together.  Add sugar, flour mixture, and butter to large bowl with the eggs.

Using the paddle attachment of a stand mixer, mix all ingredients until just combined.  Stir in lemon zest. 

Divide batter between two pans.  Spin or lightly tap the pans on the counter to remove air bubbles.  Bake for 25 minutes, until the cake tops spring back when pressed lightly with your fingers.  Remove cakes from oven and set on a wire rack - cool in pans for a few minutes.  After cakes have cooled slightly, turn the cakes out, remove the paper, flip over, and allow to cool a bit more. 

While the cakes are cooling, prepare the elderflower soak.  Once the cakes have cooled for 30min, use a wooden pick to poke holes in the tops of the cakes.  Using a pastry brush, brush the tops of the cake with the elderflower mixture.  Allow cakes to cool completely.

While the cakes are cooling, prepare the buttercream.  Combine egg whites, sugar, and salt in a heatproof bowl of stand mixer and set over a pan of simmering water.  Whisk by hand until mixture has reached around 140 degrees F.  Mixture should feel smooth when rubbed between your fingers.

Move the bowl to stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment.  Starting on low and gradually increasing to medium-high, whisk mixture until soft peaks form.  Continue whisking until glossy and the bowl is completely cool to the touch (about 10 minutes).

With mixer on medium-low speed, add butter a few tablespoons at a time.  Once all the butter has been added, whisk in lemon juice and elderflower cordial.  Switch to the paddle attachment.  Continue beating until all air bubbles are gone (about 2 minutes), and icing is completely smooth.

Prepare a piping bag fitted with a star tip (or other design).  Fill the bag with buttercream and set aside.  To assemble the cakes, place one cake on a cake stand.  Add buttercream to the top and smooth out.  Add the second layer, and add enough buttercream to cover the top and sides of the cake.  Once the cake is covered, use the remaining buttercream to pipe designs on the cake.  Garnish with lemon slices, fresh edible flowers, sprinkles - anything that feels festive!  

Linsifu Got Married

Linsifu got married this afternoon and it was funny - like all Chinese weddings.  Lin had a beautiful new foreign hat he held on to all thru the ceremony.  Lo-yin had a lovely dress - too bad we just didn't have any pretty flowers.  Went to their feast after services - good food.  Japs + China fighting in Burma - Singapore still holding out.  - Annette, January 1942

I'm heading to a wedding this weekend, so I started thinking about what weddings would have been like for Frances and Annette.  Here, Annette writes about the wedding of one of the community's 'servants.'  The missionary group had cooks, housekeepers, drivers, and other workers periodically throughout their stay in China.  Annette wrote often about Linsifu (Lin was his name; 'sifu' was Annette's spelling of shi fu - 师傅 - meaning 'qualified worker').  Annette was teaching him English, and in turn, he kept her informed of all the gossip around the community.  He was a good student, and Annette seemed to enjoy their classes.

Think back to the weddings you have attended - what do you remember most?  The venue?  The dress?  The party?  For Annette, it was the clothes and the food - no surprise there!  She also participated in the festivities by creating the flower arrangements.  From this entry, it sounds like the crysanthemums didn't bloom as she had hoped. 

We get a wartime update as well.  They didn't have the luxury/curse of a 24-hour news cycle, so their updates came sporadically.  I can only guess that the updates were a big deal, since Annette always mentions when they receive news.  The war could be both all-consuming and background noise.  You never forget that it is happening, and still, daily life marches on. 

A wedding can be a joyful respite from a difficult world.  I tend to get bogged down by all the hurt and suffering in the world.  This weekend, I will step away from the news to celebrate LOVE.  I'm sure it will be a beautiful, memorable night.  

Cleared Out The Rain

The wedding was lovely.  Daddy cleared out the rain and made a pretty sunset, and even prettier stars.  Being here makes me sad.  Daddy is everywhere.  In the water fishing.  In the hammock.  Walking on the beach.  It makes me miss him so much.  - Miranda, May 2008

My Dad was really sick at the beginning of 2008.  He died in March.  My sister got married in May that year, on the beach that my Dad loved.  It rained all day, but just before the ceremony, the clouds parted and the sun came through - just like a movie scene.  In my last conversation with my Dad, he said he couldn't wait to dance under the stars at her wedding.  Even though he wasn't there, he made sure there were stars.

Storm clouds blow over all the time - it's a common weather phenomenon.  Still, against all logic, I believe that was my Dad's doing.  The natural world has its own systems and rules, but that doesn't stop us from trying to make sense of things. I go back to that beach as often as I can.  That's where I feel my Dad the most.  Maybe it is just sand and water.  Maybe it is just another sunset.  Or maybe it is something more.