Another Birth-day

Well here again I have arrived at another birth-day.  They come around only too fast.  Why I'll soon be an old woman.  I used to think when any one was thirty he or she was real old, but although I feel a little down, I feel no older than I ever did.  - Frances, February 1892

 

As I look back at my calendar, I realize that it has been quite a while since my last post.  My goal is one post per week, but the past few weeks have gotten the best of me.  I kept meaning to schedule a few posts, but for some reason, I couldn't make the time.  To those who read this blog regularly, thank you, and I'm sorry I've been such a slacker!  After teaching at a wonderful music camp for middle- and high-school students, I then took a week off to celebrate my birthday in Washington, DC. 

I love birthdays.  I love having an excuse to celebrate my birthday for a whole week, filling the days with activities, food, travel, friends/family, and of course, cake!  This year was no exception.  I had some amazing meals in our nation's capital (Rasika and Le Diplomat come to mind).  I went to a folk festival and danced with the President of Catalonia.  I visited museums and monuments, and even snagged a last-minute ticket to the National Museum of African American History, where I could have spent an entire week. 

Something about this birthday, though, has me dragging my feet, so Frances' birthday post from 1892 really resonated with me - even though I am a good bit over thirty!  Maybe I am letting 'the number' get the best of me, but this year, I feel myself getting bogged down by all the things I want to do but haven't yet done.  I like to think of my birthday as a 6month check-point for my New Years resolutions, and this year, I'm feeling a bit lacking.

This month also marks the 1-year birthday of the Three Journals blog.  I've had the Three Journals idea in my head for so long that it seems impossible that I've been sending out bits and pieces for a whole year now.  Even though my goal was just to start the blog (which I have obviously done), I had still hoped to have accomplished more with this project.  

Birthdays are a reflective time for a lot of people, I think.  Even though I am feeling 'a little down,' as Frances said, it is only fair to remind myself of all the big things I did this year - graduated 5 clarinet students, visited a new country, planned an awesome wedding, married the love of my life.  Not too shabby!

Like many people out there, the "not good/successful/kind enough" voice in my head tends to be louder than the "hey, you're making it work" voice.  This year, I'm going to try to turn up the volume on that one.  As the years go on, I'd rather celebrate my number than not have a number at all!

He Is So Feeble

Well here again have I arrived at another birth-day.  The come around only too fast.  Why I'll soon be an old woman.  I am looking for Annie + the Dr. on the 17th - their first visit since they were married.  Pa came over when Annie was married, he is so feeble.  I fear he will not live long - but we all pray that the good Lord will spare him to us yet many years longer.  - Frances, February 1892

 

Frances has arrived at her 28th birthday, and already she feels like an old woman!  Twenty eight seems so young, even to me as a still-young person in my 30s!  How many times do we tell ourselves we are 'too old'?  We have so much to handle in our lives - sometimes, it does seem like the years start slipping away.  Frances is excited to see her sister, Annie, and her new brother-in-law.  Remembering their recent wedding, she thinks back to how her father looked - feeble, frail.  So often it is the burden of adult children to worry about their aging parents.  It is painful, and often overwhelming, to watch a loved one move through the last years of their lives.  It can certainly make you feel older than you are.