Don't Think I'll Tell Her

The Doctor examined me tonite and told me Joyce was on her way. Goodness - half the time is over already. What would mother say - don’t think I’ll tell her - she would only worry anyway. Elsie made peppermint ice cream tonight. No word yet from our Daddy - I’m getting so worried. What could have happened to him? - Annette, March 1942

As I get ready for a big doctor’s appointment myself, I found this entry from Annette. Here we are in early March, and I am halfway through my pregnancy as well! As a side note, I love reading the different names she used for her baby. It started off as Joyce, and eventually became Carol - and she ended up with a Tom!

Annette was on her own, with Clary on a trip to Chunking and Wahnsien for fabric and other supplies. With her amped-up hormones, you can tell how worried she was about his trip. As if that uncertainty wasn’t bad enough, she was also hesitant to tell her family back home that she was pregnant again. Sometimes, she felt embarrassed that she was pregnant again so soon after her first child. Sometimes, she didn’t want to worry anyone. I can relate to her concerns, but for a different reason.

I waited a long time before telling people I was pregnant - not so much because they might worry, but because I was worried about losing work. In the freelance world, I don’t have any guaranteed contracts or agreements from year to year, so I have to rebuild everything each season. That kind of uncertainty is magnified by pregnancy, because I have no idea how my employers will react to the news. Will they be supportive? Flexible? Disappointed? Or will they replace me so they don’t have to deal with it?

Luckily, several employers have been very supportive during my pregnancy. Others, I’m still not sure how it will turn out, honestly. It is unfortunate that in 2019, women still have to worry about employment when they get pregnant. My personal choices should not affect other people’s perceptions of my ability to do my job. All I can do is let people know when it comes up, and hope for the best.